B2B Work

B2B Content Marketing Agency Velocity Issues Tweet

Velocity Partners, the London-based B2B content marketing agency today announced the production and distribution of a new, self-promotional tweet on the popular Twitter micro-blogging and self-aggrandizement service.

“This tweet was a long time in the making,” said Doug Kessler, Velocity co-founder, “The team just hasn’t had the bandwidth lately to get together, brainstorm some ideas, have them copywritten, run them past the Micro-blogging Strategy Committee (MSC) and the Self-Aggrandizement Working Group (SAWG), then create and tag a URL — using an external resource — and send the tweet to the Velocity in-house tweet posting department for eventual submission to the people over in Traffic, the Hashtag team and beyond, to the good folks in ‘Go-Live’ who (together with IT security) control the Velocity twitter account.”

“With this in mind, we’ve streamlined our social media processes quite a lot,” added Kessler, “Now we can submit any new tweet to the MSC and the SAWG simultaneously.  It’s amazing how much time this can save — sometimes cutting down the idea-to-post time from months down to weeks or even, in some cases, week.” (additional quote pending approval from corporate PR and brand consistency secretariat – not for publication)

B2B Twitter Strategy
The tweet, an announcement of its latest press release, was distributed to Velocity’s 704 avid followers (@velocitytweets) and the 2,221 followers of Doug Kessler (@dougkessler) where it was expected to be devoured,  retweeted and favourited by virtually every one of them.

“Our followers eagerly await every tweet from Velocity,” says Stan Woods, MD, “They sometimes skip meals and neglect their personal hygiene for fear that they may miss one. That’s the power of micro-blogging and self-aggrandizement — it becomes almost addictive for the people we’re gracing with our Velocity-related insights and self-promotional updates.”

The latest tweet, one in an apparently interminable series, continues the theme of ‘Agile Narcissism in the Era of Social Self-Pleasuring’ – a theme established in Velocity’s bi-annual blog posts and all-but-dormant LinkedIn Company Page — and expanded on in the new Velocity Google+ profile, a fresh spin on the utterly-futile-but-somehow-critically-important Velocity Facebook Page (currently under review in the company’s Facebook Utility Committee of Knowledge (acronym not used)).

As for its plans for future tweets, the agency is uncertain. “We’re all just exhausted from the excellent work we just created together,” says Woods, “I want to thank the entire team behind this latest tweet — we could never have done it without the 24-28 people who worked day and night to get this thing out in a timely fashion. Now it’s time to rest a bit, celebrate our success and, maybe get the hell back to actual work on a paid bloody project for a buggering client if we can squeeze it in.”

 

The tweet from Velocity, B2B content marketing agency
The recent Velocity tweet, all rights frivolously thrown away without a second thought

 


4 Responses to “B2B Content Marketing Agency Velocity Issues Tweet”

  1. Ryan Skinner

    This is a meta-comment from the Integrated Irony Working Group. This comment may, or may not, point out a breach in internal controls. This comment has 50% positive, and 50% negative, sentiment. Further, this comment includes a link back to itself. Finally, this comment is not sure whether it wants to be a comment, or not.

  2. Bob Apollo

    I can’t work out whether to laugh or cry until I’ve had my decision reviewed by the Corporate Social Irresponsibility Committee. Check back in a decade for an update…

  3. Doug Kessler

    I say we overthrow the damn committees. John, go and take that shower. Bob, go ahead and cry.

    Just a thought. Worthy of consideration in the next New Proposals Analysis Roundtable. Or not.

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